Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
