i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
