I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Randomize
