You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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