I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
