i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
