Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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