So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
