He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
did you just send me my own nude
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
i now understand why vodka
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
