is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
