Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
