obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
