And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
