Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
