Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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