I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
