nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
