How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
