i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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