forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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