sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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