: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize