I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
