I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
