i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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