I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
