we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
