Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
