Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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