This girl is more easily done than said...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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