covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
