You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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