Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize