He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
