it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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