Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Randomize
