remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
