You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
4 words: hood of his car
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i think my cat just said my name.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
