I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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