Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just google imaged poop.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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