Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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