i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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