R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Plan B is the new Plan A
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize