Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
