Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
