i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
