And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
