Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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