laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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