At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We had sex on a dog bed..
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
