I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
