My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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