i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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