Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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