There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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