the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
