it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You pole danced in your parka.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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