Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I need moral support for this bender
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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